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What is a twip A twip is from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
What is a twip? A twip is what a wabbit takes when he wides a twain.

Wellknown lodging chain announced it was creating from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
Well-known lodging chain announced it was creating a line of nofrills hotels. The only way you'll see a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an M&M.

How can you tell elephants love to from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
How can you tell elephants love to travel ? They are always packing their trunk !

I cant believe it said the tourist from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
"I can't believe it," said the tourist. "I've been here an entire week and it's done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?" "Well, that's hard to say," replied the local. "Last year, it was on a Wednesday."

What do you get if you cross from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort ? The Baaahaaamaaas !

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space ? He wanted to find Pluto !

Where do werewolves stay when theyre on from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation? At the Howliday Inn!

Two Yanks touring London in a taxi from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
Two Yanks touring London in a taxi. What is that asked one of the Yank's. Why that is Buckingham Palace answered the taxi driver. Well you should see the states we have much bigger houses over there, and that. That is the Post Office Tower. Oh our towers are much bigger. This went on for much of the day until they went past a another building. Our buildings are much bigger than that one too. I thought it might be said the taxi driver, That is the mental institute

Joan who was rather wellproportioned spent almost from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

A client called in inquiring about a from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

An American tourist travelling in Limerick came from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
An American tourist travelling in Limerick came across a little antique shop in which he was lucky enough to pick up, for a mere $150, the skull of Saint Patrick. Included in the price was a certificate of the skull's authenticity, signed by Saint Patrick himself. Ten years later the tourist returned to Ireland and asked the antique shop owner if he had any more bargains. "I've got the very thing for you," said the Irishman. "It's the genuine skull of Saint Patrick". "You swindler!" shouted the American. "You sold me that ten years ago," and, producing the skull, added, "Look, they're not even the same size!" "You have it all wrong," said the Irishman. "This is the skull of Saint Patrick when he was a lad."

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "Not very long," answered the Mexican. "But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the tourist. The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family. The tourist asked, "So what do you do with the rest of your time?" "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, spend time with my wife... In the evenings I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, chase the senioras, and sing a few songs. I have a full life." The tourist said, "I have a M.B.A. from Stanford and I can help you. You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue , you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New Jersey! From there you can direct your huge enterprise." "How long would that take?" asked the Mexican. "Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the tourist. "And after that?" asked the Mexican. "Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!" "Millions? Really?" asked the Mexican. "And after that?" The tourist replied, "After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village n ear the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, spend time with your wife, and spend your evenings drinking and playing the guitar with your friends!"

Q How many tourists does it take from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
Q: How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.

Guest Why did you offer me a from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
Guest: Why did you offer me a piece of candy? Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

Police Officer Why did you lead me from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
Police Officer: Why did you lead me on a five-state chase? Driver: I love to travel.

Tourist Whats the speed limit in this from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
Tourist: What's the speed limit in this hick town? Native: We don't have one. You strangers can't get out of here fast enough for us.

Tourist The flies are awfully thick around from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
Tourist: The flies are awfully thick around here. Don't you ever shoo them? Native: No, we just let them go barefoot.

Tourist Is this Main StreetResident No its from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
Tourist: Is this 99 Main Street? Resident: No, it's 66, but we turn it upside down to confuse people.

A police officer was amazed to see from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
A police officer was amazed to see a hiker walking along the road carrying a sign which read "To Seattle." "What are you doing with that?" asked the police officer. "I'm walking to Seattle," said the hiker, "and I don't want to lose my way."

The transatlantic liner was experiencing particularly heavy from Flashcomment Travel and tourist jokes Jokes
The transatlantic liner was experiencing particularly heavy weather, and Mrs Jones wasn't feeling well. "Would you care for some more supper, ma'am?" asked the steward. "No, thanks," replied the wretched passenger. "Just throw it overboard to save me the trouble."